It’s 2:55PM, and these moons are long past late for their breakfast interview when they stumble into the Popeye’s and take a seat at my table. They look an absolute mess, but that is neither here nor there. Phobos turns to me.
PHOBOS: let’s get on with it then, Smash Ultimate just came out.
MOONSPLAIN: Fair point indeed. So what’s it like orbiting Mars?
DEIMOS: Can’t complain.
PHOBOS: Can I also say that?
MOONSPLAIN: Sure, I guess yeah.
PHOBOS: The **** you say?
DEIMOS: Why, so you can parrot it? What did Father always call you again?
PHOBOS: Brother, you promised.
Deimos nods, purses his lips.
MOONSPLAIN: Aight, wait do either of you want anything to eat?
We pause for chicken. Deimos barely touches his, Phobos eats more, but it extremely cautious around the bones and leaves like a centimeter radius of meat all around them.
DEIMOS: Sorry got important Mars stuff going on gotta bounce. [vanishes]
PHOBOS: I can stay.
MOONSPLAIN (packing up): No, that’s fine do what you gotta do–
At this point, I was interrupted by the barrel of a 1911 against the back of my skull.
DEIMOS: Ok so listen here. You’re coming with us.
MOONSPLAIN: Alright, this is getting a bit Vice News but it could make for good content.
To be continued.
-Morton J. Wharton, Senior Lunar Communer, moonsplain.com